Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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