please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
