Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
