umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize