i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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