Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize