Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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