you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
