There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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