i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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