Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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