I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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