Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I don't deserve a penis
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
