We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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