Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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