Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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