i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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