who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
