Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
