How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
