I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
