my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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