she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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