I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Randomize
