i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
