By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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