He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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