I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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