I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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