Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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