Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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