Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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