My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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