My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
