Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
