i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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