Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
