Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
