laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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