I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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