I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She's like a pop up book from hell.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
