i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
