U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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