So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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