somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
