thus making me awesome and them whores
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My ass is underappreciated
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
