I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize