I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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