So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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