i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
