so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
