Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
