I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
