my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
