She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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