Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
