apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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