So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
