Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
