He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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