i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
