why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
