Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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