Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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